My name is Robert, I’m 21 and live in Austria.
A friend once asked me to tell you my story, because the consequent usage of TAT twisted my life totally upside down – from destruction, fear and anger to love. TAT changed the way I feel and the way I think. It changed the way I talk, the way I look and it made me healthier. One thing that TAT isn’t able to improve is my English abilities. I just hope everything is understandable. I now have the courage to send this text to you with all its taints – thanks to TAT again.
Well, it all started about one and a half years ago. At that time I was one of the persons who needed to put the weaker ones down to feel good. I always categorized others either above or below me and treated them accordingly. I always played the tough guy, but everybody who knew me better knew that I was just full of fear. Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t a bully. My approach was subtle and psychological. I was good at living at the expense of the weak and using my energy to serve the stronger. But there always was a part of me whispering “This is not who you want to be….”
I also had countless allergies that made me begin to search for help. What I found was EFT. It’s funny, I just realized that in fact I never used it on my allergies at all, but on other issues, like family, friends, love life, exams. It helped really well, and for the first time in my life I had at least partial control over my damn emotions. What a great feeling!
Via EFT I got to know a very, very special person who is an EFT-practitioner. Her life is so full of joy and love. That was totally new to me! She is still a great example for me, reminding me over and over what is possible in life. She also was the one who introduced me to TAT.
I still remember my first TAT session very well. I used to have nightmares about my time in the army. I couldn’t deal with the fact that for such a long time I was under the control of another individual. I felt so worthless and that came up in my dreams every night.
My friend told me that TAT works great for traumas, so I gave it a try:
My time in army happened.
I did this and all the other steps for as long as the recommended time. I didn’t feel anything at all. My thoughts often went off topic and when I finished I was convinced that I had just wasted my time in a really ridiculous way.
But guess what happened, the nightmares never ever appeared again!
That was so great, finally I had freedom again at least in my dreams! But I wanted more, so I took a sheet of paper and wrote down everything that ever happened in my life that I didn’t like to think of. Followed by a list of people who I didn’t feel comfortable about when I thought of them. What a long list. I realized that it would take several months when doing TAT on every single issue. I even added a third part to the list: I wrote down every hospital stay, every holiday, kindergarten, every school I once attended, every job, every relationship, just every part of my life. The thought behind that was that the same thing my time in army did to my dreams, maybe other times of my life have done to other aspects of my being. (Like being the source of some allergies or something.) The fourth and last part was a listing of all my allergies that I knew of: bee stings, some nuts, several pollens, hay fever, and many more.
Wow, what a REALLY long list. As far as I remember it took me 3-4 months. I did TAT on one issue a day. Looking back I think I made one mistake. I only did TAT on a single issue once. I should have asked my inner voice: “Is this done now?” But you have to know that at that time I had NO connections to any of my feelings. Most of my every-day-actions were to escape from them. I even watched funny DVDs every night until I fell asleep.
Now, what happened? It was a great time! It was really a good feeling to deal with all the bad things. Looking at them one last time, taking the responsibility and then letting them go.
There was one special person on the list. When we grew up together we used to be very best friends. But then he suddenly changed his mind and began a fight against me. I couldn’t believe what happened, so I pretended being good friends still. But he used my naivety against me and did really bad things to me. It was very important for me to forgive him. But it was very difficult, and I wouldn’t have been able to do so without TAT. I think it took about 15 TAT sessions concerning him and things he did to me.
I often was sure that now I finally managed to forgive him, but when I met him again I had to admit that I still didn’t. One day we met again. We talked a little and then he told me of something great that happened in his life. And I honestly felt happy for him! That was the moment I learned what forgiveness is, and how good is was for ME to forgive him. Nothing ever pushed me more towards love and peace.
After this, I used TAT for present issues, and still do so.
And I changed soo much, you wouldn’t believe!
Some weeks ago I met a girl who I didn’t see for about 2-3 years. (We used to be very close friends and even tried as a couple. That went totally wrong, because I wasn’t able to deal with the thought that a girl like her could love a loser like me.) During our conversation she always pointed out how much I have changed. She said I seem to have MUCH more self confidence, I’m not so closed anymore and I have a glow in my eyes that she never saw before. But most of all, I smiled so often and I radiated a feeling of peace. That was really untypical for the old Robert! I already knew that all this had changed in my life, but it was a great feeling to hear it from her too.
Later she told me how much I had hurt her during the time we had our relationship and the time after. We talked about all the loveless things we did to each other. (By the way, I already had done TAT on that.) But… wait, wait, wait, there was something wrong…. She said I had hurt her. And I knew I had done so. But there was something missing when we talked about it…. Yes, now I know: Guilt! I didn’t feel guilty about it, I just felt very sorry about it! What a huge difference! So I didn’t freeze in panic and guilt. Instead I apologized for that and told her in a calm and loving way how I felt at that time. I told her that I wasn’t able to let her love me because I hated myself. We continued talking and had a lot of fun after all.
Now that was soo great! Guilt was the feeling that always controlled me for my whole life.
I’m also looking forward to the next allergy-season because this year I’ll get rid of them all! Still I have a long road to pass until I find my freedom and peace. But the farther I go the more fun it is to move on.
I barely did EFT again, because TAT works great even if I don’t know what my topic is (“Whatever makes me feel uncomfortable right now”). This also includes a healing possibility for those who lost contact to their feelings, like I once did. What I also love about TAT is that it is so intuitive, and that you’re able to bend the usual process quite much to your personal needs. For instance I found a simple way to deal with a negative and self-destructive mood I often used to have by just doing the TAT-Pose and speaking out all the bad things that went through my mind. That helped me out so fast, it’s unbelievable!
I thank everybody who ever was part of my life. No matter if I evaluated it a bad part or a good part that time. In the end, there is no difference at all. If you can do TAT, every devil turns into an angel if you want him or her to do so.
I thank you so much, Tapas, for your lifework TAT. I have no idea what my life would look like today if you didn’t offer that little free workbook.
With all my love,